Menelas, the Lover of Hercules
by Tito-Mosquito
Summary: An AU retelling of the movie with a genderbent Meg. The story mostly focuses on scenes with Meg. M/M
1. Chapter 1

This fanfic mostly covers scenes with Meg. The name Menelas came from a fanart of a genderbent Meg by Kokonoix in deviantART.

* * *

In the land of the gods, Mount Olympus, Hercules, the son of Zeus and Hera, king and queen of the gods, was born. It was the most happiest day in their lives. Until later that night, he was stolen from them. Hera wailed in sorrow, while Zeus let out a might fury in the form of a tremendous thunderstorm. He had the other gods search all over Greece for him. By the time he was found, he has somehow become mortal and is adopted by a mortal couple. They never discover who had kidnapped him in the first place, or how they had turned him mortal. Yet, he still retained his godly strength, thank goodness for that at least. As painful as it is to lose their only child, Zeus and Hera cannot interfere in mortal affairs and must allow Hercules to grow up not knowing of his true heritage.

Hercules grows up knowing he's different. He also start developing certain feelings. The kind of feelings a boy feels about a girl. Only he feels this way about other boys. Particularly a group of boys playing with a discus who don't want Hercules around. Being different already, he doesn't reveal this fact to anyone, not even his parents. So he suppress these feelings deep as possible.

After causing yet another accidental disaster in town, Hercules becomes more depressed than ever. When Hercules tells his father that he feels like he doesn't belong, like he's supposed to belong somewhere else, his parents believe it's time he knows the truth. Looking at his medallion, which was the only thing they found with him, Hercules decides to leave home to travel to the Temple of Zeus to pray to him for answers on where he come from. To his great surprise, Zeus is his father, which makes him a god. Well, half-god anyway. Zeus told him someone has taken him away from Zeus and Hera as a baby and somehow made him mortal. Because of it, he nor any of the other gods can do anything to undo it, since they cannot interfere too much on the mortals' lives. However, Zeus tells his son of one way to become a god again - he has to prove himself a true hero, and thus earn a place among the gods. He must find Philoctetes, the trainer of heroes, with the help of his flying horse Pegasus, Hercules' companion back in Olympus, who was happy to reunite with his friend, thanks to Zeus.

The two fly to Philoctetes' island, where he meets the trainer in person, who turns out to be satyr, and prefers to be called Phil. Hercules pleads with Phil to train him, but he flatly refused, because he retired, and mostly because his previous students ended up as failures. The only one who came close was the one called Achilles, but his ankle was a liability. Phil's dream was to train a hero so great that the gods will give him his own constellation, so everywhere in Greece, people will look up and say "That's Phil's boy!". However, Phil has completely given up since "dreams are for rookies". Not giving up, Hercules showed him his godly strength so Phil can see he can succeed where others failed. While amazed, Phil initially still refused, and then laughed his head off when Hercules told him Zeus is his father. Ultimately, thanks to father dearest, Phil ultimately gave in.

* * *

Hercules spent the next three years on the Island of Philoctetes, training with Phil and Pegasus to become a true hero. They started by cleaning out the training fields, learning basic archery and sword skills, and general exercises like balance beams and endless push-ups. After that they moved on to rescuing damsels and running through obstacle courses. By the time the year was through, Hercules was weaving through scissor blades on a rope, jumping through hoops of fire, and swinging his sword like a pro.

"Ha! Did ya see that, Pegasus?" Hercules grinned as Pegasus swooped in after his latest successful run of the course, "Next stop, Olympus!"

"Alright, just take it easy there champ," Phil snorted as he followed after Pegasus.

"I'm ready! I want to get off this island, battle some monsters," Hercules grinned, play wrestling with Pegasus, "Rescue some damsels, y'know, heroic stuff! Aw, c'mon, Phil!"

Phil paused, debating, while both Hercules and that stupid horse of his shot him pleading looks.

"Okay, okay. You want a road test? Saddle up kid, we're going to Thebes!"

"Woo!" Hercules cheered, head-bonking Pegasus, "We're going to Thebes, Pegasus!"

They hopped on Pegasus's back and took off across the ocean. About halfway there, Hercules finally asked.

"So, why Thebes?"

"A lot of problems. It's a big tough town, good place to start building a reputati-"

Suddenly, they were cut off by the sound of a large roar.

"Hyah!" Hercules urged Pegasus down to see what the commotion was about. They landed and searched, until they came though the shrubbery and into a clearing with a waterfall shallow pool of water. A young man was thrown across the water, and he collapsed with a grunt.

Hercules was frozen a moment, completely captivated by the man, dressed in a long lavender chiton. He was around Hercules's age, twenty, maybe twenty-one. He was on the shorter side, and has short dark brown hair with a lilic headband around his head with a long thick bang hanging on the left of his face. He was extremely handsome, with high cheekbones, unique vibrant violet eyes matching his attire in full view, and a hint of muscle visible on his lithe frame through his soaked clothing.

"Oh my gods..." Hercules uttered as he's dazzled by the handsome slender man. Those feelings he's suppressed since he was a teen emerged again, that mental barrier keeping them locked up came crashing down like those columns he accidentally knocked down.

The young man appeared to be running from something with a frightened expression on his finely chiseled face. Then a large beast crashed into the pond, a blue-skinned half-human half-horse much larger than Pegasus or Phil. It snatched the young man up right out of the water, gripping him tightly around the waist in spite of his protests.

"Ahahah! Not so fast, sweetheart!" the beast grinned.

"I swear, Nessus! Put me down or I'll..." the man began, growling fiercely.

"Whoo!" the beast, Nessus, grinned widely. It was all teeth, and he was now hissing in the man's face. The man flinched away, "I like 'em fiery!"

In the bushes, Hercules's eyes darkened, and he grits his teeth.

"Now remember, kid." Phil instructed, oblivious to Hercules' growing fury, "First, analyze the situation. Don't just barrel in there without thinking. Eh?"

But Hercules was gone from his side. He looks around and finds him already charging for Nessus and the young man he helped captive.

"He's losin' points for this!" Phil grouched to Pegasus, crossing his arms in a huff, and Pegasus snorted his agreement, "Heroes, they never listen."

"I said quit it, Nessus, or I'll, I'll-" the captive man was struggling more anxiously now, almost pleading with Nessus, while he struggled to avoid his attempts to kiss him and pull at his clothing.

"Halt!" Hercules declared, interrupting them both.

Nessus shot him a look, up and down. Then, he growled low and in Hercules' face.

"Step aside, two-legs!"

"Pardon me, my good, uh, uh... _sir_!" Hercules tried to be polite, clamping down on the furious anger building in him, "But I'll have to ask you to release that young..."

"Keep movin', junior!" the man just dismissed him in a huff.

"...man. But, you- are-aren't you..." Hercules waved a hand vaguely at the man's situation, "In distress?"

"Yes, I'm in distress." the man wiggled, still struggling to escape Nessus's iron grip, "I can handle this." he wiggled again, then, even as it proved futile, he turned to Hercules and flashed him a smile, flipping his hair out of his eyes in what was clearly a dismissal, "Have a nice day."

"Uh..." Hercules paused, the man's admittedly charming smile momentarily throwing him off. Then, he drew his sword, "Sir, I'm afraid you may be too close to the situation to realize-"

Then Nessus punched him, sending him flying across the pond and into the water with a splash.

"What're you doing, you idiot?!" Phil shouted from the sidelines, "Get your sword!"

"Sword! Right! Right, rule number fifteen, a hero's only as good as his," he finally grasped it underwater, and drew it with a triumphant shout, "Weapon!"

Okay, that wasn't his sword, that was a fish.

Nessus burst into condescending laughter, and the young man in Nessus' grip rolled his eyes. The fish squealed in fear and jumped from Hercules's hand. Nessus then socked Hercules again, this time sending him straight into a rock. Even the young captive winced at that. Pegasus whinnied in dismay, moving to race to Hercules's side, but Phil stopped him.

"Whoa whoa whoa, slow down, he has to do this on his own. He just needs a push," Phil shook his head, holding the upset pegasus back, then called to Hercules, "C'mon, concentrate! Use your head!"

"Oh..." Hercules murmured, an idea forming.

He charged across the water, gaining more and more speed until at last, he collided head-first with Nessus. The force made the beast drop the young man in the water and go flying off into the waterfall, smashing into the rock wall behind it.

"All right, not bad, kid!" Phil called out encouragement, then, more quietly with a half-shrug to Pegasus, "Not exactly what I had in mind, but not bad."

At this point the young man Nessus had captive surfaced out of the water, coughing wildly. Hercules's eyes widened and he raced over, hoisting the man up out of the water and into his arms.

"Oh, gee, I'm really sorry, so sorry, that was dumb of me, wasn't it?" Hercules apologized repeatedly, placing the man gently up on a rock formation that had the usually shorter man taller than Hercules.

The man used this height for intimidation, narrowing his eyes down at Hercules as he peeled his bang out of his eyes with a grimace.

"Uh, _yeah_. It was," then, the man paused, and with something that might have been amusement, "Did you really just say 'gee'?"

"Yeah," Hercules might have blushed, if Nessus hadn't growled behind him, drawing his attention, "Oh, excuse me."

The man shrugged, continuing to try and dry out his hair with a shake. Phil hopped up next to him, shouting out encouragements while Hercules beat Nessus to a pulp.

"Is Wonderboy here for real?" the man commented with a small smile to Phil.

"What're you talkin' about? Of _course_ he's real!" Phil huffed in reply as Hercules finished up with Nessus.

He knocked the beast around a bit, until finally Nessus was ready to collapse. Pegasus trotted over, gave the beast one final blow, then trounced along the beaten beast's back smugly. Hercules wiped his hands clean and walked over to Phil and the man with a bright grin.

"How was that, Phil?"

"Rein it in, rookie. You can get away with those in the minor decathlons, but this," Phil tapped the gold medallion, emblazoned with the symbol of the gods, attached to his suit, "Is the big leagues."

"Hey," Hercules protested, "At least I beat him, didn't I?"

"You were distracted! Next time, don't let your guard down just because some pretty boy is playing hard to get," Phil snorted, with a gesture at the man they'd saved, "It's like I keep telling you, you have to stay focused, and you-"

But Hercules's attention was already lost, somewhere over where the man he'd saved was bent over the pond, drying out his hair and clothes. He raised his head just enough to cast a glance back at Hercules, violet eyes wide and expressive, a small smile on his soft-looking lips. Hercules walked past Phil, unaware that the satyr was even still talking, and right past Pegasus, who'd held out his hoof for a high-five. Both watched Hercules in frustration as he approached the young man he'd saved from Nessus.

"Are you alright, Mister...?" Hercules asked, only to receive a shock of water to his face as the man whipped his hair back.

"Menelas. But my friends call me Menel, at least they would if I had any friends." Menelas, Menel, shrugged, all fast talking and seductive smiles as he handed Hercules his sandal so he could lean back down to the water and wash off his feet, "So, did they give you a name with all of those rippling pectorals?"

"Uh, I'm, um," Hercules stuttered, feeling a blush forming, "Uh."

"Are you always this articulate?" Menel smirked, snatching back his sandal and beginning to walk off.

"Hercules," he quickly offered, then, with a cough to clear his throat and oh-so-subtly deepen his voice, "My name is Hercules."

"Hercules, huh? I think I prefer Wonderboy," Menel bent to put his sandal back on, and Hercules tried to pursue a conversation in spite of Pegasus waving his wings in front of him.

"So, uh, how... how did you get mixed up with the, uh...?" Hercules gestured back to the beast, trying to coolly lean against the tree nearby, and almost slipping and falling.

"Pinhead with hooves?" Menel filled in the blank, raising an amused eyebrow.

"Yeah. Uh, yes."

"Well, you know how some men are. They think 'no' means 'yes' and 'get lost' means 'take me, I'm yours'." Menel fell into Hercules's arms, fluttering his eyes seductively at Hercules.

Hercules blinked widely, clearly confused, and uncomfortable, by the closeness. He briefly glanced at Pegasus who's unsure himself.

Menel shook his head in exasperation, and gestures a thumb to Phil, "Don't worry, I'm sure shorty here can explain it all to ya later."

Phil growled in reply, about to say something, when Menel continued.

"Well, thanks for everything, Herc, it's been a real slice," he saluted Hercules, then began to saunter off. Hercules's eyes wandered lower than they should have down Menel's back, until he shook his head to snap himself out of it.

"Wait!" he called, and Menel looked back, one eyebrow raised, "Um. We can…can we give you a ride?"

Pegasus, looking extremely offended, snorted in Hercules's face, and shot up into a tree branch where he whinnied and grunted in protest.

"I don't think your pinto likes me very much," Menel glanced from Pegasus to Hercules with a doubting look.

"Pegasus?" Hercules exclaimed, "Oh no, don't be silly, he'd be more than happy to-ow!"

An apple dropped onto his head with a clunk, and when Hercules glanced up, Pegasus did his best to look unassuming, looking away innocently.

"I'll be alright. I'm a big boy, I tie my own sandals and everything," Menel held up his arms to flex his muscles, then knocking Hercules's chin lightly, "See ya around, Wonderboy."

He sauntered off again, his hips drawing more of Hercules's attention than they should have, if the dazed look on Hercules's face was anything to go by.

"Bye..." Hercules replied, awe and wonder in his voice once Menel was out of earshot, "He's... _something_. Isn't he, Phil?"

"Yeah, oh yeah, really something. A real pain in the patella," Phil snapped grouchily, "Earth to Herc! Come in Herc, come in Herc! We got a job to do, remember? Thebes awaits."

"Yeah, yeah, I know..." Hercules murmured, still watching the part of the woods where Menel's figure had disappeared as Pegasus swooped down and scooped them both up, headed off for Thebes once again.

Across the way, a smiling Menel watched them go with a shake of him head. "Why do men always seem to fall for me?" he thought as he trek to the dark woods where there are no leaves. It was a rather unsettling environment for anyone to wander alone, but he continued until he found a clearing. Seeing no one around, he leans his right arm on a tree and put his other hand under his tunic. He starts slowly stroking his cock that's already went hard.

He's fantasizing being surrounded by a bunch of muscular, square-chinned men. Twenty of them. They were all nude, even himself. And they were absolute _huge_ down here. He can't take his eyes off them.

"Oh gods..." he moaned out loud, voice full of lust. He's already starting to cum. As he increases the speed of his strokes, he made a deep scratch on the tree he's leaning on, the feeling of pleasure overtaking his body. His strokes are going faster and faster, and he grows closer and closer to his climax.

Now he sees himself on his knees, smothered by the men hard erected cocks on his face. He hungers for their juices. He grabs what he can and quenches his thirst.

Finally, with a loud moan, Menel came. Warm thick liquid squirt on the moist swampy ground. Menel collapsed down against the tree, his energy drained in the aftermath of the orgasm. He breathes heavily with a dazed look. He remains sitting until he calms down. Then suddenly, he hears a twig snapped.

Alerted, Menel shot up and look at his surroundings. He then looked down to see a bunny and a squirrel approaching him cautiously at his feet.

"Aw, how cute," he cooed, then dropping the mimicry, "A couple of rodents lookin' for a theme park."

"Who you callin' a rodent, brother? I," the first declared, "Am a bunny."

"Stow it, Pain," Menel just sighed, and the two transformed back to their demon form.

"Ta-da!" Pain winked, and Menel rolled his eyes.

"Thought I smelled a rat."

"Oh, Menel," a wisp of smoke rolled in, pulling Menel's head away from the demons and towards...

Hades.

"Speak of the devil," Menel grimaced.

"Menel _my dear boy_ , what exactly happened here? I thought you were going to persuade the river guardian to join my team for the uprising, and..." Hades produced a chess board out of smoke, examining a little stone piece that looked like Nessus, "Yet, here I am, river guardian-less."

"I gave it my best shot, but he made me an offer I had to refuse," Menel snapped, reaching out and flicking the river guardian piece off the board.

"Fine," Hades shrugged, making the board disappear again, "So instead of subtracting two years from your sentence, I'll just add two on. Why don't you 'give that your best shot'?"

"Look, it wasn't my fault!" Menel huffed, walking away to cross his arms with a sulking scowl, "It was this wonderboy, Hercules."

Everyone is suddenly quiet for a moment.

"Hercules, Hercules, why does that name ring a bell..." Panic paced back and forth, tapping a spiny finger on his chin.

"I don't know," Pain shrugged, "Maybe we owe 'im money?"

" _What_ was that name again?" Hades stalked over to Menel, pressing in close.

"Hercules," Menel fired back, already off on a tangent, oblivious to Hades, who was burning bright red, his flames shooting up as he began to hyperventilate, shooting a deadly glare over at his idiot minions, "He comes on with this big innocent farm boy routine, but I could see through that in a Peloponnesian minute and-"

He continued rambling, but Pain froze.

"Wait a minute," Pain blinked, tugging on Panic, eyes wide, "Wasn't Hercules the name of that kid we were supposed to-"

" _Oh my GODS! RUN FOR IT!_ " they both shrieked, right as Hades's flames shot up to the sky, his hands becoming smoky shadows that reached out and snatched up before they could run.

"So you 'took care of him', did you?" Hades snarled, "'Dead as a doornail', were those not your _exact_ words?"

"This might be," Pain choked out from the hand Hades had around his neck, "a _different_ Hercules?"

"I mean, yeah, Hercules is," Panic added, squeaking as Hades squeezed tighter, "a very popular name!"

"Remember, a few years ago every other boy was named Jason and the girls were all named Brittany?" Pain explained.

"I am about," Hades took a deep breath as he flung his minions to the ground, "To rearrange the cosmos. And the _one_ _schlemiel_ who can louse it up is waltzing. Around. _IN THE WOODS?!_ "

With his last words, streaks of fire shot out from his hands, destroying everything around him. Pain and Panic became cockroaches while Menel ducked just in time, narrowly avoiding a stream of fire with one eyebrow raised, unimpressed. He was far too used to these dramatics by now; Hades was more like the god of drama queens, really.

"Well, we can still cut in his waltzing," Pain pointed out.

"That's right, and at least we made him mortal!" Panic added.

"Hm," Hades considered this a moment, then, scooping all of them up in his smoke-like hands, "Fortunately for the three of you, we still have time correct this rather egregious oversight. And this time…there will be no mistakes."


	2. Chapter 2

Everything has been set. All that's left is to get Hercules attention. They had tracked him to Thebes. Menel can't believe he'll be involved with killing an innocent man. But his soul belongs to Hades, so he _has_ to do his bidding. He mussel up his hair and ran to the city. Looking out of breath, he ran up to mingling crowd.

"Help, help! Please! There's been a terrible accident!" he shouted looking around, and spotted Hercules by a statue.

"Wonderboy! Hercules! Thank goodness!"

Menel gasped when he caught sight of Hercules, racing over and into his arms, his hands landing against Hercules's chest. Hercules instinctively caught him, fighting the blush that rose to his cheeks while Menel caught his breath.

"What happened, what's wrong?" Hercules questioned.

"Outside of town, two little boys, they were playing the gorge," Menel shook his head, panic in his voice, "There was this rock slide, a terrible rock slide, they're trapped!"

"Kids? Trapped?" Hercules felt a grin growing on his face. He turned, grabbing Phil, "Phil! This is great!"

"You're really choked up about this, aren't ya?" Menel raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms, panic act dropping for just a moment.

"Come on!"

Hercules didn't notice, instead taking Menel by the wrist and pulling him over to where Phil was waiting.

"Oh! No, I-you don't understa-I have this terrible fear of-!" but Hercules was already hoisting him up by the waist onto Pegasus's back and in a flash they were taking off into the sky, Menel still wailing, " _HEIGHTS!_ "

Menel's eyes flew wide as they took off, his arms immediately slipping around Hercules so he didn't fall off. Menel was too terrified at that particular moment to enjoy Hercules's delightfully pronounced abs, but Hercules couldn't help but enjoy the feel of Menel's arms around his waist. Menel's skin was warm, flush against Hercules's, and his grip was so tight his knuckles had gone white.

He didn't even notice he'd left Phil behind, running and waving a hand.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Phil grouched, running after them, "Don't mind me, I'm right behind ya, kid…okay…whoo boy, I'm way behind ya, kid. I got a fur wedgie."

In the air, Pegasus had noticed Menel's fear and was now racing even faster with a sneaky grin. He pulled a few tricks and flips, flying fancy, making Menel's stomach turn until they arrived with a bounce, almost throwing a shaky Menel off. Hercules, of course, kept him steady.

"Are you okay?" he asked with concern, and Menel nodded with a grimace.

"Yeah, yeah, I'll be fine. Just get me down before I ruin your upholstery."

At that comment, Pegasus's eyes widened, and he bounced Menel off. Hercules caught him before he could hit the ground. Before he could enjoy Menel in his arms again, Hercules heard the children's cries for help.

"Help! I can't breathe!"

"Hurry!"

"Get us out!"

"We're suffocating, somebody call IX-I-I!"

Hercules raced over to where he could hear them, under a large rock. The rock was enormous, kept from crushing the boys only by the way it was placed. There was a small sliver of space, through which he could barely see two boys in the space underneath.

"Easy fellas, you'll be alright," Hercules promised.

"We can't last much longer!" one boy panicked.

"Please, get us out!" the other begged.

The citizens of Thebes had caught up now, and were gathering on the outskirts of the gorge. Hercules stepped back, assessing the rock a moment, then swooped in and hefted it up. Even Menel had to blink back surprise at that; the movement looked impossible, the rock a thousand times larger than what even the strongest man alive should have been able to lift. But the boys rushed out to the Thebe's residents reluctant applause.

"How're you guys doing?" Hercules glanced down to the boys.

"We're okay now!"

"Jeepers, mister, you're really strong!"

"Well, try to be a little more careful next time, okay kids?"

"We sure will!"

They raced off while Hercules tossed aside the rock. They ducked and weaved between people, avoiding eyes and escaping up the side of the cliff. They reached the top, where Hades sat in a stone throne.

"Stirring performance, boys, I was truly moved," Hades commented drily.

"'Jeepers, mister'?" Panic snorted, mimicking Pain as he transformed back into his demon form.

"I was going," Pain huffed, offended, waving a hand theatrically as he too turned back, "For innocence."

"And, might I add two thumbs way, way up for our leading man, hm?" Hades smirked at Menel, who was at the edge of the cliff they were up on.

Menel just looked regretful, unable to tear his gaze from where Hercules still stood with the crowd.

"Get outta there, ya big lug, while you still can," he muttered worriedly.

Down below, Hercules knew nothing.

"Phil! Phil, I did great! They even applauded, sort of," Hercules grinned brightly, not even fazed by the heavy lifting.

"Yeah, ya-" there was a low, rumbling growl, and Phil stopped cold, staring off into the depths of the cave they had unveiled, "I hate to burst your bubble kid, but that ain't applause."

Two cold, reptilian eyes flashed in the darkness, and that was their only warning before the world exploded into claws and scales. The beast gave a guttural, screeching roar, flashing it's teeth as lightning crackled overhead in warning.

"Ph-Phil?" Hercules stammered, backing away, "What do you call that thing?"

"Two words, scram!"

The crowd began screaming, dispersing in a panic while Phil too retreated to the sidelines. The beast was scaly and reptilian, and had four legs and a fat lower body but a ridiculously long neck reached up to the heavens, bearing crazy sharp fangs. Up on the cliff, Hades grinning his approval.

"Let's get ready to rumble!"

The thing advanced on Hercules immediately. Hercules could only wave his sword as he backed away, unsure how to handle this.

"That's it! Dance around, dance around! Watch the teeth, watch the teeth!" Phil shouted from the sidelines as Hercules ducked and weaved, "Come on, come on. Lead with your left, your left!"

The beast reared back then charged; Hercules dove to the right, only just managing to escape the beast's glistening teeth by luck.

"Your other left!" Phil groaned while Hercules dropped and rolled away to safety.

He dropped his sword, so he grabbed a large chunk of rock and hefted it at the beast's head. The beast just caught it in it's mouth and crunched down, shattering it. It made another charge for Hercules, and, unable to dodge, he grabbed the beast by the teeth, struggling for a long, dangerous moment before tossing the beast to the side by it's teeth. He managed to grab his sword at last, but the beast snaked out, using it's tongue to grab Hercules by the ankle and toss him up high into the air and swallow him whole.

Off on the sidelines, Phil looked away with a shake of his head. Another good hero; gone. Menel's face and knuckles went white as he gripped the rock in front of him, physically flinching as the beast swallowed. This was his fault, this was all his fault.

The beast grinned, licking it's lips and advancing on the crowd now with a screech. Then, it paused, choking a bit, making retching noises. Then, a sword pressed through it's neck, slicing the beast's head off from the inside. The head flew off into the crowd, and the body hit the ground with a satisfying thud. Hercules fell with it, managing to land on his feet, if a it shakily. He was dripping in beast-ooze, but he gave a tired grin to the crowd, who cheered for real this time.

"Alright, alright, yeah!" Phil cheered loudest.

"See, Phil?" Hercules dropped his sword and collapsed to the ground with an exhausted laugh, "That…that wasn't so…hard."

"Kid!" Phil was by his side immediately, "Hey, how many horns do you see?"

"Uh…" Hercules blinked up at him woozily, "Six?"

"…" Phil shrugged, "Eh, close enough. Let's get you cleaned up, huh?"

Rain began to fall, and up on the cliff, Panic was panicking, sure that Hades was going to roast them alive; Hercules had lived. Hades was going to kill them for sure-

"Relax," Hades just drawled, a smirk on his face, "It's only halftime."

As he spoke, the beast in the gorge began to shake, stretching with a crackling sound. Phil turned, eyes wide.

"That doesn't sound good."

With a roar and a shriek that sounded even worse, three heads burst forth from the beast's slain body. They looked to each other in delight, then advanced on Hercules.

"Definitely not good!" Phil announced, slapping Hercules's sword back into his hand before high-tailing it back to the sidelines.

Hercules raced away as the beast, clearly a hydra, gave chase, snapping at his heels. Hercules whistled loudly, and Pegasus immediately swooped in. Hercules grabbed him and they took off into the sky, ducking and weaving to avoid the hydra's many snapping jaws. In what he would later recognize as not the best plan he'd ever had, Hercules continued trying to slice their heads, trying to maybe beat the regenerative process.

Instead, he now faced a demonic beast with more heads than he could count.

"Will you forget the head-slicing thing?!" Phil raged from the sidelines.

"Hyah!" Hercules nudged Pegasus higher in the storming sky, but it was in vain.

One of the heads finally knocked Pegasus in the side and Hercules slipped off, falling right into their tangle of heads. "Phil, I don't think we covered this one in basic training!" Hercules shouted as he's falling. He managed to escape the teeth, mostly because they were so tangled with themselves that they couldn't quite reach him. He bounced off one, using it's tongue as a rope and slipped out of their tangle, slamming into the side of the cliff. He grappled for purchase, but was instead slammed and held against the wall by a claw.

"Ah, my favorite part of the game," Hades mused with a malevolent grin, "Sudden death."

Right as the heads descended on him, Hercules managed to twist his hands loose, slamming a fist against the side of the cliff. His god-like strength was enough to shake mountains, and the cliff face cracked, sending boulders raining down on them. They buried both Hercules and the Hydra, until only a single claw wasn't covered by the rocks.

Pegasus whinnied in alarm, and even the previously unmovable crowd gasped. Phil stood to the side, shock and disappointment on his face.

"No… there goes another one," Phil shook his head in dismay, "Just like Achilles."

Up on the cliff with a smirking Hades, Menel flinched again. His shoulders were tense and the regret was plain in his eyes, but he couldn't stop watching the rocks.

"Game. Set," Hades smirked, snapping his fingers, "Match."

He lit a cigar with one of his fingers.

"C'mon, Wonderboy," Menel whispered.

As the words left his mouth, the hydra's claws crackled and shuddered. The crowd turned in horror and Hades looks on with mild curiosity... to see Hercules break free of the claw, wrenching it apart to escape. There was barely a split second of silence before the crowd was whooping and hollering, cheering with wild abandon. Pegasus turned triumphant circles in the air, exuberant. Hercules stumbled out of the claw, waving a hesitantly shy hand to the crowd that was cheering his name. Even the skies cleared, the rain giving way to bright sunshine as Hercules stepped forward and the crowd rushed him, hoisting him up on their shoulders. Pegasus swooped low over the crowd, licking him excitedly.

"Ya gotta admit, Phil, that," Hercules smiled tiredly as he was carried past Phil, "Was pretty heroic."

"You did it! You did it, kid, you won by a landslide," Phil gave him a hearty pat on the shoulder as he passed.

Up on the cliff, Hades was steamed, completely burned up his cigar into nothing. His hands glowed red hot, and he gripped Pain and Panic with iron claws.

"Well, what do ya know?" Menel started clapping, a relieved smile on his face as he watched Hercules enjoy the celebration.


	3. Chapter 3

Up above the city of Thebes, Hades was having target practice. Pain and Panic would hoist vases with Hercules's face on them into the air, and Hades shot fireballs that shattered the vases to pieces while Menel watched, lounging in a chair off to the side.

"Nice shootin', Rex," Menel just smirked, lazily making gun signs with his fingers.

"I can't believe this," Hades snarled, not even paying attention, "I've thrown everything at him, and it doesn't even-" he stopped short, hearing a strange squeaking noise. He looked down at Pain, "What. Are. _Those?_ "

"Um," Pain squirmed, his bright pink and blue Air Herc's squeaking at the movement, "I dunno, I thought they looking kind of dashing."

"I've got 24 hours to rid myself of this, this bozo, or the entire scheme I have had in the works for _eighteen years_ goes up in smoke and you. Are wearing. _His merchandise?!_ "

Hades was bright red and flaming, about to strangle Pain, when a loud slurping interrupted him. His flames cooled instantly in surprise, and he turned to look at Panic, who was slurping away at a cup with Hercules's face on it.

"Uh..." Panic seemed to suddenly realize what he was doing. He offered a sip timidly, "Thirsty?"

" _ **DYEAAGGHH!**_ "

The mountain exploded in a fit of fiery fury, causing a little earthquake that's barely noticed by everyone in the city of Thebes. While Pain and Panic quivered in the corner, Menel just smirked and sauntered over to the edge that overlooked Thebes, where Hercules was just visible below.

"Looks like your game's over," Menel watched with a smile as Hercules talked to an eager crowd and left his handprints in wet plaster, "Wonderboy's hitting every curve you throw at him."

Hades continued to glare, caught sight of Menel's sauntering hips, and a brilliant idea struck him.

"And yet, I'm beginning to wonder if perhaps I just haven't been throwing the _right_ curves at him," Hades's lips curled into a devious smirk, making a gesture at Menel's hips at the word 'curves'. "Menel..."

"Don't even go there," Menel sneered, somehow not even surprised. He stood, turning away from the ledge and crossing his arms. Unfortunately, Hades continued.

"Ah, but he must have a weakness. Everyone has a weakness. For Pandora, it was the box, the Trojans, hey, they bet on the wrong horse. We simply need to find out Wonderboy's."

"I've done my part," Menel shook him off, "Get your little imps to-"

"They couldn't even handle him as a baby," Hades scoffed, and Pain and Panic looked mildly offended, though really there wasn't much they could say. Hades continued, his voice dropping low and seductive, "And I need someone to handle him as a _man_."

"Hey," Menel turned with a growl, "I've sworn off that sort of thing."

"Well, that's good," Hades nodded, faking sympathy, "Because that's what got you into this jam in the first place, isn't it? You sold your soul to me to save your girlfriend's life; ever the noble one, aren't we, Menel? You even promised her you would do anything for her, like a good boyfriend and lover should. And how does this babe thank you? By running off with some lug."

As he said this, Hades projected images of the memory. Menel watched silently as Hades made a feminine figure out of smoke, falling into a smoke-Menel's arms. Then, in a snap of his fingers, a stronger, taller, altogether more manly figure sauntered by, and the smoke-girl wandered away with him, leaving smoke-Menel behind. Alone. Heartbroken.

"She hurt you quite deeply, didn't she, Menel?"

From that day forth, Menel swore to never fall in love with another woman again. Never to fall in love with _anyone_ again. Love is for fools.

"Well, I've learned my lesson, haven't I?" Menel snarled, waving his hand to disperse the smoke figures and blinking back tears.

"Which is exactly why I have a feeling you're gonna leap at my new offer," Hades handed Menel one of the vases with Hercules's face on it, moving his hands to Menel's shoulders. Menel just looked down at the vase doubtfully, his fingers tracing the image as Hades spoke, "You give me the key to bringing down Wonder Breath, and I give you, no questions, no restrictions, the thing you crave most in all the cosmos..."

Hades bent low, his cold breath on Menel's ear as Menel's eyes widened. He couldn't mean...he wouldn't...Menel had never dreamed of regaining it...

" _Your freedom._ "

Menel gasped and dropped the vase, and it shattered against the stone floor.

* * *

Can you guess who was Menel's girlfriend, and who's the guy she left him for?


	4. Chapter 4

"Okay, at 1:00, you got a meeting with King Augeas. He's got a problem with his stables, so I'd advise you not to wear your new sandals," Phil rattled off, reading from Hercules's list of appointments, "And then there's-"

Hercules himself was in the center of the room, sword and shield in hand, a lion's pelt on his back. He felt awkward, posed so formally, but the painter who was currently inking his likeness onto a vase had absolutely insisted. Apparently, 'he had a vision'.

"Phil-" Hercules started to interrupt.

"I told you, don't move!" the artist screeched, waving a paintbrush.

"Sorry," Hercules returned to the position, and Phil continued talking.

"The DRG, the Daughters of the Greek Revolution, want you at 2-"

"Phil-" Hercules tried to get his attention again, but Phil kept talking.

"Then at 3 you've got to get a girdle from some Amazons-"

"Phil!" Hercules shouted abruptly, finally getting his attention, "What's the _point?_ "

With that, he flung the stupid, flashy shield and sword to the side, accidentally messing up the artist's painting. The artist gave a frustrated screech, scratched out the painting altogether, and stomped off.

"Keep your toga on, pal," Phil snapped at the artist, who just flung his art supplies in Phil's face in reply. Phil growled, but let the hoity toity artist stomp off, focusing on Hercules instead, "What do you mean, what's the point? You want to go to Olympus, don't you?"

"Yeah, but this isn't getting me anywhere," Hercules pulled off the lion's skin and sat down with a sigh.

"You can't give up now," Phil insisted, "We're counting on you."

"I gave this everything I had," Hercules shook his head, "And it's still not good enough."

Phil observed Hercules a moment, then crossed to sit next to him, one hand on his shoulder.

"Now you listen to me. I've seen them all, and I'm telling you, hand to Zeus-you've got something I've never seen before."

"Really?"

"Kid, there is nothing you can't do."

Before either of them could say another word, the doors burst open and a horde of shrieking fanboys burst in.

"Oh my Gods, it's _him!_ "

"Look, Hercules, look at me!"

"No, look at me, Hercules!"

"Fuck me, Hercules!"

They converged and surrounded him, falling over themselves to be near him. Some are pulling at his tunic, trying to grab his cock, wanting a taste of him.

"I touched his member!"

"I got his perizoma!"*

"Phil, help!" Hercules managed to squeak out before they took him to the ground. Barefeet press at his face. They're all over his groin and ass.

"Escape plan beta," Phil whispered.

"Gotcha."

Phil blew a whistle to get the boys' attention, and when they looked back, Hercules was gone. In his place was a fat boy who's hard cock peaked out of his tunic, already dripping with cum.

"There he goes!" Phil pointed out the open door, "He's on the veranda!"

The lust-filled boys raced out, and Phil followed to corral them off the property. Once Phil was gone, Menel slipped out from his hiding place, closing the door behind him and smirked, having seen everything. Menel glanced around the empty room thoughtfully a moment, before catching sight of Hercules's sandal-clad feet just under the thick velvet curtain by the wall. Hercules was clearly shifting nervously.

He can hear the sound of fapping and heavy breathing. Hercules is masturbating with one hand and his other leaning on the side. Being swarmed by those boys really turns him on so much. He's on the brink of an orgasm.

Menel couldn't help a little smile; so cute boys turn on small-town, goodie-two-sandals, huh? It was sort of adorable, really.

"Let's see, what could be behind curtain number one?" Menel smirked, grabbing hold of the drawstring for the curtain and yanking it to reveal a mussed-looking Hercules as he squirts out his semen on the polished floor.

"Menel!" Hercules cried out blushing a brilliant shade of crimson as he saw who it was, blue eyes wide in surprise. Menel couldn't help laughing as Hercules recoiled, trying to cover himself through his torn and dissolved clothes. A large piece of his tunic is missing, exposing his hard dripping cock.

"It's all right, the sea of raging hormones has ebbed," Menel quipped, patting Hercules on the arm. His gorgeous, rock hard arm. Menel shook his head and walked towards the couch; best not to get too carried away here.

"Gee, it, it's great to see you," Hercules's flustered look quickly melted into a smile, "I missed you."

I should find a way to bottle that smile, Menel mused. You could cure cancer with a smile like that. But then, if he bottled it, it wouldn't be coming from Hercules, and Menel had a feeling that would take all the magic out of it. Who smiled like that, anyway, all genuine and bright and sweet, like he was a fucking ray of sunshine or something? And who says things like that, 'I missed you', like he meant it? Too good to be true, Menel shook his head to remind himself, they always are.

"So, this is what heroes do on their days off?"

Menel dropped down on the couch, not bothering to reply to Hercules's last comment. Whether or not he'd missed Hercules too was irrelevant. Besides, why would he miss some silly wonderboy?

"I'm no hero," Hercules deflected with a wave of his hand, following after Menel to the other side of the room.

"Sure you are," Menel shrugged, picking up one of the vases on the table beside him. It had a caricature of Hercules posing heroically emblazoned on the side, "Everybody in Greece thinks you're the greatest thing since they put the pocket in pita."

"I guess," Hercules chuckled, "It's crazy. I can't go anywhere without being mobbed."

"You sound like you could use a break," Menel purred, turning up the charm.

"Oh, well, I-"

A blush was working it's way up Hercules's neck, and Menel in no way found it adorable. None whatsoever.

"Think your nanny goat would go berserk," Menel picked up a little Phil doll from the table and squeezed it, making the eyes and tongue stick out on the word berserk, "If you played hooky with me?"

Menel shot Hercules his most charming, flirtatious smile, and took pride in how Hercules visibly faltered.

"Uh, gee, I don't know, Phil's got the rest of the day pretty booked, it wouldn't really be right to-"

"Again with the 'oh gee'," Menel smiled fondly, standing up and sauntering closer to Hercules.

"Yes, uh, yeah, I-" Hercules's blush had reached his cheeks, and he bit his lip as Menel stood chest to chest with him, coming up quite a bit shorter than the hero. Menel hooked a finger round Hercules's collar, pulling him down to his level with a feisty little smile.

"Phil, Schmil," Menel whispered seductively, his lips only a few inches from Hercules's, "Don't you want to play hooky with me?"

"Menel…"

There a long moment where they stood like that, each in the other's space, breathing the same air, their lips bare inches apart. They didn't break eye contact for even a second, and Menel couldn't help but be fascinated with the lust dark and wild in Hercules's baby blues; Hades's mission was far from his mind as he wondered what Hercules would taste like, what would his solid muscles would feel like underneath Menel's hands, free of clothing, just skin on skin in the empty room.

Hercules didn't seem like the type to talk dirty, a bit too chivalrous for it, but Menel was willing to bet he could make Hercules moan. Oh, how Menel could make him moan. Briefly he let the images play across his mind; he imagined touching Hercules in ways that made him moan and sigh and beg, for more, for harder, for Menel. How much would it take to unravel Hercules completely? How much would Menel have to play and touch and tease until Hercules just melted under his hands, Menel's name falling over his lips again and again, a prayer and a curse all in one.

"Gods, I want you," Hercules breathed, the look in his eyes not at all appropriate for all ages.

Hercules's voice was deeper than Menel had heard before, rougher, and it shot straight to Menel's groin. Menel's mouth went dry, and he was unable to remember the context of their previous conversation. He briefly entertained some of the options Hercules could have meant, and they all left him with his heart beating double time and the situation in his tunic entirely uncomfortable. He was about a split second from yanking Hercules down and aggressively claiming his mouth when Hercules promptly went bright red.

"To," Hercules hastily corrected, quickly extracting himself from Menel's grip on his shirtfront, "To, I mean, I want to. I want to, uh, play hooky, was what I meant. With you."

"Hooky," Menel blinked, trying to get his heart to restart. He was relatively sure it had jumped ship on him at some point in the whole exchange, "Right."

"Phil's out front," Hercules pointed out, "How will we get out?"

"Oh, that's easy," Menel shrugged, trying to recollect himself and failing miserably, jerked a thumb to the back window, "Out the window, round the dumbbells, you lift up the back wall…and we're gone."

"You got it." Hercules said eagerly.

"Ahem."

"Yes?" Hercules asked. Menel points down, at Hercules' current wardrobe. "Oh." he blushed.

"You might wanna change, Wonderboy." Menel stated, but personally would prefer Herc leave with him like that.

* * *

*In case you don't know, perizoma is a type of loincloth used as underwear.


	5. Chapter 5

"Wow," Hercules smiled, leading Menel into the garden with a hand on the small of his back, "What a day. That restaurant by the bay was just fantastic."

"I told you I knew a guy," Menel chuckled, absently leaning into Hercules's touch.

"You didn't tell me you knew the guy," Hercules shook his head, smiling at the memory, "Mmm, I could eat that steak all day. I can't believe you didn't eat more."

"Maybe you could pack it away, Mr. Muscles," Menel rolled his eyes, "But some of us have a figure to keep, y'know."

"Please," Hercules snorted, "Like you care about your figure."

"I'll have you know I care deeply," Menel huffed.

"Sure you do, Menel," Hercules hummed in agreement.

"Are you humoring me?" Menel eyed him.

"Aren't I always?" Hercules raised an eyebrow.

"You're sassier than you look, Herc," Menel shot back.

"I'll take that as a compliment," Hercules just grinned, giving Menel a little mock bow.

"And a dork, too," Menel rolled his eyes, lightly shoving Hercules, "I don't know how I put up with you."

"You put up with me? I didn't hear half the play through your 'commentary', chatterbox," Hercules complained, but he was smiling, "Though that play about that Oedipus guy... man, I thought _I_ had problems."

Hercules walked ahead a bit as Menel caught sight of two little birds, pink and green.

" _Psst!_ Stop fooling around!" the green one, Panic, hissed at him.

"Yeah, get the goods already, man!" the pink one, Pain, added.

Then Hercules turned back to face Menel, and the birds returned to cheeping innocently.

"I didn't know playing hooky could be so much fun."

Hercules gave a lop-sided, genuinely happy smile, and there was a softness in his eyes that made Menel's heart do strange things. Hercules took Menel's hands in his, and Menel couldn't help but marvel at how warm they were.

"Yeah…neither did I," Menel sighed, more truth to his words than perhaps he'd meant to express.

"Thank you, Menel," Hercules just smiled again, the same warmth to it as before, and Menel hated himself.

Hercules was...there weren't words for a man like Hercules. He was kind to everyone and adorably charming, he was a bit of a dork but crazy funny, and sort of naïve but in only the sweetest and most genuine of ways. He didn't want to trick Hercules, but... Pain and Panic were watching, which meant Hades was sure to be nearby, and Menel could all but taste his freedom on the tip of his tongue.

"Don't thank me just yet," Menel muttered, then, louder, "Oh!"

With that, Menel faked a little slip off the last step, falling into Hercules's arms. Hercules's chest was warm under Menel's hands as Hercules caught him, his arms sliding around Menel's waist protectively. Hercules's face was just a few inches from Menel's, and Menel couldn't help but wonder what Hades would do if Menel told Hercules about the whole thing. He mentally shook his head; not even Hercules could protect him from Hades.

"Careful," Hercules murmured, eyes only for Menel.

"Sorry," Menel murmured back, and it wasn't exactly hard to act breathless when Hercules absent-mindedly licked his lips. He gave a small chuckle, "Weak ankles."

He half expected Hercules to kiss him; Menel was already in his arms, their lips mere inches apart, and Hercules was looking at him with such open desire Menel wasn't sure Hercules was even aware of it. Menel had received that look more than few times from him just today, and Menel had to admit that look alone was enough to banish any little 'bad idea' voices to the farthest corners of his mind.

Instead, Hercules scooped Menel up into his arms.

"You'd better sit down a while, then," Hercules said, concern replacing desire so fast Menel almost got whiplash, "We can sit over here."

Okay, so, protective streak.

"I didn't need to be carried," Menel tried to sound upset, but it came out as more amused than anything else.

"Maybe not," Hercules shrugged, and Menel felt his muscles ripple with the action. Okay, maybe being carried was good thing. Great, even. Menel could totally work with this, "But I don't mind, and I wouldn't want you to trip again."

Hercules let him down on a nearby bench, taking a seat next to him. He was staring off into the distance, with a rather dumbstruck look on his face. Menel noticed how distracted Hercules is, which means he'll more likely to tell him anything.

"So, uh," Menel leaned back, mentally rolling his eyes at what he was about to do, "Do you have any problems with things like _this_?"

"Problems?" Menel shot his foot up to Herc's eyes, apparently startling him from whatever daze he was in. He looked quite confused as he stares at Menel's slender leg. "Uh..."

"Oh, you know..." Menel purred, pressing his foot on Hercules's cheek so he would look at him, "Weak ankles, I mean?"

Hercules gulped as Menel's tunic slipped back slightly, taking in the sight of Menel's exposed flesh so he darted his eyes away. Menel could absolutely not get over how adorable Herc's nervousness was. Hercules hesitantly put his hands on Menel's ankle, lowering it.

"Oh, uh, no, not really," Hercules shifted, moving just a bit away from Menel.

Well, that wouldn't do. Most men would have taken that as an invitation. He'll just have to make a direct approach.

"No weaknesses..." Menel purred, moving closer and letting one of his straps fall, "Whatsoever? No trick knees..." Menel tapped his fingers lightly on Hercules's knee, trailing them up along Hercules's thigh. Hercules watched, wide eyed, as Menel's hand slid his muscular thigh towards his tunic.

"Erm-!" Hercules crossed his leg but Menel already reach under his tunic for his aroused manhood.

Hercules didn't move away again as Menel moved between Hercules's knees and practically into his lap, tracing a hand over Hercules's toned chest, and giving him his best seductive smile, "No ruptured... disks?"

"Uh," Hercules paused, swallowed guiltily, putting Menel's strap back up, "No, I'm, uh, I'm afraid I'm fit as a fiddle."

Hercules hastily stood and walked over to the fountain to adjust his tunic.

Menel stared a moment, dumb-founded. Had Hercules just turned him down?

"Well, wonderboy, I guess you are _perfect_ ," Menel muttered.

"Uh, thanks."

Hercules chuckled nervously, picking up a stone and skipping it across the fountain waters. His strength sent it a little too far though, and it smashed into the statue of Venus at the end. Menel laughed, walking over to rest an arm on Hercules's shoulder. He quirked his head at the now armless statue.

"Whoops," Hercules ducked his head, embarrassed.

"Y'know, it looks better that way," Menel observed. Hercules shot him a dubious look, and Menel insisted, "No, it really does."

There was a moment's pause as Hercules's dubious look softened into something else. Hercules leaned forward, and Menel almost closed his eyes. At the last moment, something flashed overhead, and they both turned to look at the shooting star. Hercules watched it eagerly, while Menel just watched Hercules, a small smile on his face.

"You know..." Hercules admitted quietly when it passed, thoughtfully, "When I was a kid, I...I would have given anything to be exactly like everybody else."

"You wanted to be petty and dishonest?" Menel sighed, walking closer to peer into the fountain's dark waters.

"Everybody's not like that," Hercules frowned, surprised.

"Yes they are," Menel didn't look back at Hercules, just kept gazing into the water, his own reflection staring accusingly back at him.

"You're not like that," Hercules came up behind him, and in the water's reflection, Menel could see Hercules reach out for him, as if to pull Menel into his arms. Menel turned to face him before he could.

"How do you know what I'm like?"

It wasn't an accusation, not quite. Menel had meant it to be, but it came out as a question, almost a plea.

"All I know is...you're the most amazing person with weak ankles I've ever met," Hercules told him simply, honestly.

"Oh..." Menel chuckled nervously, backing away slowly and backed into something sharp. He yelped, leaping away from the object and turned to see a small satue of Eros, with bow having poked into his back. Menel looked back at Hercules while also did a quick double-take on the statue, _Eros?! Are the gods themselves mocking me now? I'm not in love. Sure I'm fond of him, but not love. Besides I learned there's no such thing long ago._ Menel was fiddling with his hands when Hercules continued speaking, "Menel...when I'm with you, I don't feel so alone."

"Sometimes it's better to be alone," Menel shook his head, sitting down on the edge of the fountain with a bone-weary sigh.

"What do you mean?" Hercules sounded genuinely confused.

"If you're alone...nobody can hurt you."

"Menel..." Hercules's expression softened, a mix of compassion and protectiveness moving him forward. He sat next to Menel on the edge of the fountain, taking both of Menel's hands in his, a promise, "I would never, ever do anything to hurt you."

"And I don't want to hurt you," Menel shook his head, though he couldn't bring himself to pull his hands away. Hercules was getting closer with every word, and though Menel kept talking, his words grew quieter as Hercules grew closer, "So let's both do ourselves a favor and stop this...before...we..."

Menel closed his eyes.

"Alright, alright, break it up!"

Phil's voice blared, and a bright light flashed over both of them. Surprised, Menel sprung back, and he opened his eyes to see Hercules move in front of him, protecting him with an arm. Menel felt a flood of affection for Hercules, before Phil's loud voice drowned out everything else.

"I said break it up, party's over! I've been looking all over the god damned city for you-!"

"Calm down, mutton man," Menel snapped, ducking out from under Hercules's arm as Phil and Pegasus landed, "It was all my fault."

"You're already on my list," Phil sneered back, "So don't make it worse!"

Phil hopped off Pegasus's back, and Pegasus snorted aggressively at Menel. In retaliation, Menel blew out the candle Pegasus was wearing as a search light.

"As for you!" Phil hopped up, grabbing Hercules by the collar and roaring in his ear, "Do you have any fucking idea how long I've been looking for you?! I am not your babysitter, I am your trainer, and when we get back to the stadium, I'm going to put you through the training of your life for pulling this shit, you hear me?!"

"Okay, okay!" Hercules groaned as Phil pulled him along.

"Get on the horse!" Phil bellowed, letting go of Hercules's collar to point at said horse.

"I'm sorry," Menel sighed.

"Eh, he'll get over it," Hercules waved him off with a smile, reaching up to pluck a flower from the tree overhead.

He handed the white blossom to Menel, kissing him on the cheek before Menel could say anything else. Menel just blinked, absent-mindedly raising a hand to his cheek.

"Move it! I said move your ass, you hear me, Hercules?!"

Phil continued complaining, eventually managing to drag Hercules away from Menel and onto Pegasus's back. Pegasus immediately took off, though Hercules was watching Menel wave goodbye instead of the flight.

"Hey, would you keep you damn eyes on the-oof!"

With that, a branch smacked Phil right off Pegasus's back. He went flying, and conked his head as he hit the ground not more than a few feet from the garden they'd just left. Woozily, he rambled, "That's it... next time... I... drive."

With that, Phil passed out.


	6. Chapter 6

Back at the garden, Menel had taken a seat at the fountain and was turning over the flower in his hand.

"What's the matter with me?" Menel whispered with a sigh, "You'd think a guy would learn."

 **Menel:** _If there's a prize for rotten judgement, I guess I've already won that._

 _No one is worth the aggravation. That's ancient history, been there, done that._

Menel tossed the flower with a scowl.

Behind him one of the stone statues came to life and caught it. Anyone else might have been surprised by moving statues, but Hades had owned Menel's soul long enough that he'd come to terms with gods and their strange ways of showing up. He even recognized these five: Calliope, Clio, Melpomene, Terpsichore, and Thalia. The Muses, goddesses of the arts and proclaimers of heroes.

 **The Muses:** _Who you think you're kidding; he's the Earth and Heaven to you._

 _Try to keep it hidden, honey we can see right through you._

 **Menel:** _(Oh no.)_

 **Muses:** _Boy, you can't conceal it. We know how you feel and who you're thinking of._

The short-plumped one Menel recognized as Thalia offers the flower back out to Menel, holding it in front of him. He stood and walks away from the Muses.

 **Menel:** _Oh, no chance. No way. I won't say it. No, no._

 **Muses:** _You swoon, you sigh. Why deny it? Uh-oh._

 **Menel:** _It's too cliché, I won't say I'm in love._

 **Muses:** _(_ _Shoo-doo, shoo-doo._ _Ooo.)_

The Muses just shrugged to each other.

 **Menel:** _I thought my heart had learned its lesson. It feels so good when you start out. My head is screaming "Get a grip, boy, unless you're dying to cry your heart out." (Oh.)_

 **Muses:** _You keep on denying who you are and how you're feeling. Baby, we're not buying. Hun, we saw you hit the ceiling._

Menel rolled his eyes, walking away from the annoying goddesses.

 **Menel:** _(Oh no.)_

 **Muses:** _Face it like a grown-up. When you gonna own up that you..._

 **Melpomene:** _...got..._

 **Terpsichore:** _...got..._

 **Muses:** _...got it bad?_

Menel crosses the pond. There were stepping stones, and he jumped across them.

 **Menel:** _Oh. No chance, no way. I won't say it. No, no._

He almost missed the last one and he reached out to catch himself, grabbing the nearest statue for balance. He glanced up, to find a marble-carved Hercules looking back. Of course. Menel used Hercules's marble hand as leverage to pull himself up, brushing a hand over the statue briefly. Of course wonderboy looked great in marble. But he backs away from it.

 **Thalia:** _Check the grin, you're in love._

Menel quickly moves away from the stupid statue.

 **Menel:** _This scene won't play; I won't say I'm in love._

 **Muses:** _(You're doing flips. Read our lips, you're in love.)_

 **Menel:** _You're way off base, I won't say it. Get off my case, I won't say it._

 **Muses:** _Boy, don't be proud. It's okay you're in love._

The Muses put the flower Menel threw away on top of the fountain he's sitting on, right next to his hand. Menel lifted it hesitantly, smelling the sweet blossom with a sigh.

 **Menel:** _Ohhh. At least out loud,_ _I won't say I'm in... love._

A fond smile crosses his lips as he laid back on the fountain's edge.

 **Muses:** _S_ _hoo-doo, shoo-doo, shoo-doo, shoo-doo._ _Sha la la la la la. Ah._

The love-dazed Menel heard a hissing sound behind him, and it was enough warning for him to hide the flower and sit up before Hades made his entrance.

"Hello, Menel," Hades greeted, "So what is it, then? You've spent all day with Wonderboy. What's his weakness?

"Get yourself another man," Menel shook his head, "I'm through."

"Run that by me again? I must have had brimstone stuck in my ear, for I could have sworn you said-"

"Then read. My. Lips," Menel snapped, turning and stalking away, "Forget it!"

"Oh, Menel," Hades just chuckled, appearing in front of Menel in a poof of smoke, "My sweet, deluded little minion. Aren't we forgetting one, teensy-tiny, but ever so crucial little detail? Ah, yes..." with that, Hades burst into bright, red-hot flames, though he was mere inches from Menel, " _I OWN YOU!_ "

Menel had to recoil away from the flames that very nearly scorched his skin. Usually Hades's flames didn't actually come near enough to burn him, but it was clear he'd pissed the god off a touch more than normal.

"Ohh," off in the bushes, Phil was finally rousing awake with a groan that went unnoticed by Hades and Menel, "I swear, that fucker's going to be doing laps until he can't see straight..."

"You work for _me_ ," Hades snarled, his voice registering with Phil, who suspiciously peeked out from behind the bushes. When he saw Menel, his eyes went wide. Hades, oblivious to Phil's presence, continued talking, "I say 'sing', you say 'name the tune', I say 'I want your lovely wonderboy's head on a platter', you say-"

"Medium or well-done?" Menel interrupted with a sneer, being his usual snarky self.

But his back was to the forest, so his sarcasm was lost on Phil, who could only assume he meant it.

"I knew that kid was trouble," Phil growled to himself, then he sighed, honest regret coloring his voice, "Oh, this is going to break Herc's heart."

Phil shook his head; but it had to be done. He scampered off back to Thebes, while Menel and Hades continued their conversation.

"So you think yourself witty, Menel?" Hades growled, "Well, do you hear that sound? That's the sound of your freedom, fluttering out the window...forever."

Hades conjured some smoke bats and blew them in Menel's face. Menel waved them off with a cough and a glare.

" _I don't care!_ I'm not going to help you hurt him!"

"You're getting all worked up over nothing, Menel," Hades narrowed his eyes, unable to see his minion's logic, "Over some...guy. You said you don't care about _anyone_ anymore."

"This one is different," Menel snapped, then, softened, "He's...he's honest, and he's sweet, and-"

"Oh, please," Hades rolled his eyes.

"He would never do anything to hurt me."

"He's a _guy_ ," Hades made a face that expressed exactly what he thought of Hercules's little promise.

"Besides, your unholyness," Menel taunted with a smirk, turning away from Hades and musing over his flower as he spoke with confidence, "You can't beat him. He has no weaknesses, he-"

Menel turned, and found himself faced with Hades's most malevolent grin.

"I think..." Hades reached forward, plucking the flower Hercules had given Menel from Menel's slackened hands, "He does, Menel. Oh, yes...I think he _does._ "

Hades grasped Menel's chin in one cold hand, set fire to Hercules's flower with the other, and eyed Menel with a plotting smirk on his face. Menel just realized his fatal error too late.


	7. Chapter 7

Back at Hercules's personal stadium, he was doing exercises with a vigor Phil had never seen. Phil sighed, making his way down to the center where Hercules was. As much as he had griped about Menel, he wasn't looking forward to breaking Hercules's heart. Menel had been a pain in the ass, sure, but Phil had never expected something like this.

"Hey, Phil! What happened to you?" Hercules called.

"Kid, hey," Phil sighed, "We need to have a talk."

"I know!" Hercules grinned, hauling Phil up and twirling him about a minute excitedly before he bounced off, "I just had the greatest day of my life! I can't stop thinking about Menel...he's just...something else."

"Look, I'm trying to talk to you, would you come down here and listen?" Phil called up to Hercules, who was now doing giddy acrobatics on the bars.

"How can I come down there when I'm feeling so, so..." Hercules bounced on the bar, making a mighty jump for the sky, "High!"

Pegasus watched Phil and Hercules's antics, munching away on feed. Then, he heard a low whistle. He turned and caught sight of a voluptuous pegasus, batting its eyes at him seductively. The mare waved it's wings in a come-hither motion, and Pegasus couldn't help but follow. The mare entered one of the stables, still batting its tail at him, and Pegasus picked up his pace, following it inside. Then, Pegasus watched in horror as the mare changed shape, separating into two demons that snickered at him.

"Gotcha," the green one grinned, and they pounced.

Outside, Phil was still trying to get Hercules's attention.

"Look, that's nice, but what I'm trying to say is-"

"And if it wasn't for you, I never would have met him," Hercules landed, pulling Phil into a tight hug, "Oh, I owe you big time, Phil, I really do."

"Will you knock it off?" Phil squirmed out of Hercules's grasp, "I'm trying to-"

"Rule #38, come on, Phil, keep your fists up there, huh?" Hercules teased, playfully starting to spar with him.

"Listen to me, would ya? He's-"

"A dream come true?" Hercules smiled brightly.

"Not exactly," Phil grunted.

"More handsome than Narcissus?"

"Aside from that-"

"The most wonderful-"

"He's a goddamn _fraaaaaaaaaaud!_ " Phil exploded at last, "He's been fucking playing you for a sap!"

"Aw, come on," Hercules just waved him off, happy grin never faltering, "Stop kidding around."

"I'm not kidding around," Phil growled back, "He's a fraud and he's playing you, using you-"

"Look, I know you're upset about today," Hercules started, his lovestruck grin finally slipping into an frown, "But that's no reason to go saying nasty things about him-"

"Kid, you're missing the point-"

"The point is, I love him," Hercules insisted.

"Well, he doesn't love _you_!" Phil fired back.

"You're crazy," Hercules shook his head, turning away.

"I'm _telling_ you kid, he's nothing but a two-timing, no-good-"

"Watch it!" Hercules growled.

"Lying, scheming-"

" ** _SHUT UP!_** " Hercules screamed, whirled around in blind speed and smacked Phil in the chest, sending him across the stadium and into some of the exercise equipment, "Phil...I'm...I'm sorry..."

"Okay. That's it. You won't face the truth? Fine," Phil grit his teeth, standing up and shaking himself off.

"Phil, wait, where're you going?"

"I'm hopping the first barge out of here," Phil shook his head, "I'm going home."

"Phil, I... I... Well, fine," Hercules blustered, "Go, then! I don't...I don't need you!"

"And here I thought you were gonna be the all-time champ, not the all-time chump," Phil just sighed, leaving Hercules alone in the stadium.

Hercules, furious with Phil, with himself, with the world for bringing him down on what had been an amazing day, grabbed the heaviest barbell he could find and started lifting until he couldn't think about anything but the motion.

"Geez Louise. What got _his_ goat, huh?" someone spoke above him, startling Hercules enough to drop the barbell to the ground. A blue-tinted man cloaked in black garb and billowing smoke stretched out on Hercules's pull-up bar, seeming to float. He had blue fire for hair, and Hercules only had to wonder a moment before the man swung down, landing next to him, and he got confirmation of who it was, "The name is Hades, Lord of the Dead. Hi, how ya doin'?"

"Not now, okay?" Hercules just sighed. He had no desire to deal with this on top of everything else.

"Hey, hey," Hades appeared in front of him, "I only need but a few moments of your time, and I'm known for my fast tongue. You see, I have a bit of a deal in the works, a real estate venture, if you will, and Herc-you little demon you, may I call you Herc?-you seem to be constantly getting in my way."

"You've got the wrong guy," Hercules shrugged off the hand Hades had pinching his cheek, and ducked away.

"Hear me out, you little-!" Hades whipped around, his hair growing red hot as he grabbed Hercules by the shirt, then, fast as he'd gotten angry, he calmed himself. He smoothed Hercules's shirt back out with a little laugh, "Just...just hear me out, yes? You see, I would be eternally grateful if you would just...take a day off from this hero business of yours. Monsters, natural disasters, damsels in distress...quite stressful, I'm sure. Just take a day off."

"You're out of your mind," Hercules shook his head adamantly, shaking Hades's grip on his shoulder off and turning to walk away again.

"Ah, not so fast. You see, I thought you might say that, so I do have a bit of...leverage, you might want to know about."

At that, Hades snapped his fingers, and Menel appeared just a few yards away.

"Menel!" Hercules shoved Hades out of the way, running to Menel.

"Don't listen to-!" Menel moved to run to Hercules as well, but smoky chains appeared, curling around Menel so that his arms, legs, and mouth were bound, and he fell to the ground. At the precise moment Hercules reached him, he disappeared in a poof of smoke, reappearing further away, seated in the stadium.

"Let him go!" Hercules demanded with a growl, immediately turning on Hades and charging right at him. He made to tackle the god to the ground, and instead went right through Hades's smoky form.

"See, here's my deal for you. You give up your strength for, oh, about 24 hours, let's say, the next 24 hours, and Menel here is free as a bird and safe from harm. You dance, you kiss, you carry on, everyone goes home happy. What say you, hm?"

"..." Hercules paused, giving a long look at Menel, "People...people are going to get hurt, aren't they?"

"Nah! Well, you know, it's a possibility, of course, it happens, because, well, you know, it's war, but hey, what can I say? What do you owe these people, anyway? And isn't Menel," Hades crossed to where Menel was on the stadium's bleachers, taking Menel's face in his hand, "Isn't your darling little Menel here more important than they are?"

"Stop it," Hercules growled, his blood boiling at the sight of Hades's filthy hands on Menel.

"Isn't he?" Hades demanded, pushing his advantage.

"You have to swear that he will safe from any harm. Whatever happens," Hercules demanded, his eyes steeled in a way that Hades knew there was no getting around.

"...fine, I'll condede you that," Hades nodded at last. He supposed it wouldn't hinder his plans too much. So he patted Menel on the head condescendingly, "Menel here is safe, otherwise you get your strength back, yada yada yada, fine print, as it is. We're done, then? Shake on it, if you would?"

Hercules regarded Hades's outstretched hand dubiously.

"You know," Hades drolled, his voice tight with impatience, "I don't really have the time to bat this around; I'm on a bit of a tight schedule here. I need an answer, now. Going once..."

Hercules looked at Menel, still bound tight, now shaking his head vehemently, his eyes pleading with Hercules not to. But...all he could remember was Menel's words from earlier that night. If you're alone, nobody can hurt you. Menel had been hurt before, and Hercules would be damned if he let it happen again.

"Going twice..."

"All right!" Hercules yelled, accepting the deal with Hades.

"Yes! We're there! Bam!"

Hercules shook. Hades gripped his hand tight, icy fingers like talons, curling around his hand. Their joined hands glowed bright blue, and Hercules could feel his strength being drained away.

"You may feel just a tad queasy, it's natural," Hades smirked, "Maybe you should...sit down!"

With that, Hades flung the barbell Hercules had been lifting onto his chest, pining him to the ground.

"Now you know how it feels to be just like everybody else," Hades sneered, "Isn't it just peachy? Oh yes, and you'll love this; one more thing, Menel, darling, a deal's a deal. You're off the hook."

Hades snapped his fingers, releasing Menel from his smoky chains. Menel gasped for air, and Hades pulled him up, one arm over Menel's shoulders.

"By the way, Herc, isn't he just a fabulous little actor?"

"Stop it," Menel looked away, his words lacking their usual bite.

"What do you mean?" Hercules looked between Hades and Menel with concern as he slid out from under the barbell.

"I mean your little darling was working for me the whole time," Hades drawled, then, with a smirk, "Duh."

"You're...you're lying!" Hercules snapped.

"Help!"

The little boys he'd rescued from under a rock raced up to him.

"Jeepers, mister, you're really strong!" one sneered, mimicking a child's voice.

They both then burst into laughter, turning into demons again to poke at and push him around, still jeering.

"Couldn't have done it without you, Menes," Hades patted his cheek.

"No," Menel shoved Hades away, crossing to Hercules, pushing Pain and Panic aside, "It's not like that, I didn't, didn't mean to...I mean, I couldn't..."

He tried to take Hercules's hands like Herc had taken his earlier, tried to explain...but Hercules wouldn't look at him. He didn't push Menel away exactly, but he dropped his hands and turned away. He started to walk but Pain and Panic, the little bastards, grabbed onto him and pulled him down, chanting taunts.

"Our hero's a zero! Our hero's a zero!"

"I'm sorry, Herc," Menel sank to his knees, tears pricking his eyes, as he lowered his head down with grief. "I... I'm so sorry."

"Well, I must be off. There's a cosmos up there waiting for me, and it has my name on it," Hades conjured up a dark, smoky chariot with a snap of his fingers. He boarded, giving Menel and Hercules a jaunty wave and smirk in parting, "So much for the preliminaries. Now on to the main event!"

* * *

Now the sh*t is about to hit the fans!


	8. Chapter 8

The sky over Thebes suddenly darkened with red. Its citizen are weary of the forbidding sky. Which they now have a reason to, as a large shadow looms over them. To their horror, a humongous Cyclops monster march through the city.

" _ **HERCULES! WHERE ARE YOU?**_ " the Cyclops shouted. " _ **HERCULES! COME OUT! FACE ME!**_ "

The citizens screamed for Hercules, sure that their hero would come to save them. Back at the stadium, Hercules could hear their cries, hear the taunting of the Cyclops. He braced himself, squared his shoulders, and started down the stairs.

"What are you doing?" Menel was after him immediately, racing in front of him to block his way. He knew exactly what the hero was thinking, could see it in the lines of his face, the steel in his eyes, "Are you crazy? Without your strength, you'll be killed!"

"There are worse things," Hercules's focus was solely on Menel for a brief, unflinching moment. There was pain and betrayal in his eyes, and Menel couldn't help but flinch. When he did, Hercules lightly removed Menel's hand from him arm and moved past. It tore Menel apart inside.

"Wait!" Menel chased after him, but Hercules took off into a sprint for the city. Even weak as he was, he outpaced Menel as he made straight for the heart of the city.

"Thank the gods!" someone cried as they saw him approaching.

"We're saved!" called another.

" **So,** " the Cyclops stomped forward, squatting down to look at Hercules, " **You mighty Hercules?** "

The Cyclops burst into laughter, poking at Hercules with his grotesque, curled nails, his hearty laughter jiggling his flabby body. At the peak of his laughter he swung out, catching Hercules in the chest and sending him flying off into the distance. Hercules crashed into a billboard of himself, then careened to the ground.

Menel flinched away, unable to watch. Suddenly, he heard whinnying from behind him; that's right, Hercules had that flying horse, didn't he? Menel raced to the stall door, throwing it open to find Pegasus, bound and gagged but throwing a violent tantrum about it nonetheless.

"Easy there, horsefeathers," Menel held up his hands in peace, "Pegasus, right? Whoa! Stop twitching and listen!"

But he didn't stop, kept bucking up and fighting him, even as Menel tried to free him. Gods damn it, he didn't have time for this!

"Hey!" Menel yanked Pegasus down, bringing him face to face with a deadly serious glare, "I said listen to me, Pegasus! Hercules is in trouble, and you're going to take me to Phil so we can talk some sense into that damn idiot before he gets himself killed. Got it?"

Pegasus regarded Menel a moment with an unreadable look. Then, he ducked his head in a gesture that meant something along the lines of well, hurry up and untie me then. Menel did, and, with only a brief moment of fearful trepidation, hopped up on Pegasus. He took off at top speed, racing to get to the docks, Menel screaming bloody murder and gripping tightly the entire way.

The Titans were smashing their way through Olympus' front gates when Menel and Pegasus caught up with Phil, right at Thebes docks. He had one hoof on a boat when he heard Menel calling for him.

"Phil!" Pegasus flew right up next to Phil, and Menel reached out a hand, "Please, Phil, Hercules needs your help."

"What's he need me for when he's got friends like you, huh?" Phil sneered.

"He won't listen to me," Menel shook his head, swallowing roughly.

"Good! He finally learned somethin'," Phil shot back.

Pegasus flew right front of Phil's face, challenging him with an aggressive snort. Phil seemed to second-guess himself a moment.

"Come on, hurry up!" the boat's captain called, "We're shovin' off, here!"

Phil turned away, though Menel didn't give up.

"Look, I know what I did was wrong, but this isn't about me, it's about him! If you don't help him now, Phil," Menel begged miserably, "He'll die."

Phil stop at his tracks.

* * *

Meanwhile back in Thebes, Hercules was getting his ass kicked.

He was beaten to a pulp. His skin shined was dotted with dark bruises, and blood was smeared across his face and clothes. His hands were cut and scraped, knuckles bleeding and torn. The Cyclops tossed him into a pillar, bruising, if not cracking, at least one of his ribs. He coughed, choking on the dust and unable to catch his breath.

"C'mon, kid!" suddenly Phil was descending, riding Pegasus into the fray, Menel at his back. They landed next to him, Phil at his shoulder with encouragements, Menel cautiously moving forward, "You can take this guy in your sleep, he's a bum, a pushover!"

Phil continued talking, but Hercules only had eyes for Menel. Menel, who kneeled next to him, taking Hercules's hand in his.

"Please, Hercules..." Menel whispered, his voice rough, choked with grief. Though he didn't want to, though every part of him ached not to, Hercules pulled his hand away.

"You were right all along, Phil," he spoke to Phil, but his eyes never left Menel's, "Dreams are for rookies."

Menel looked down at the ground in shame as Phil continued to encourage Hercules.

"No, kid, _I_ was wrong," Phil shook his head determinedly, "Giving up is for rookies. I came back cause I'm not quitting on you. I'm willing to go the distance; are you?"

"No!" Menel's shout echoed in Hercules's ears, and he turned in time to see Menel diving for him.

The Cyclops snatched Hercules away just before Menel could grab him, hoisting him into the air in his iron fist.

" **Me bite off head!** "

The Cyclops gave a loud belly laugh, but as the Cyclops raised him up, Hercules caught sight of a pile of burning wood. He dove, arms just long enough to grab one of the flaming sticks, and swung back, throwing into right into the Cyclops eye. The Cyclops roared in pain and released Hercules, who fell and crashed into a cart.

"Whoa, baby!" Phil and Pegasus cheered, "That's right, there ya go!"

Hercules brushed himself off, and grabbed some of the rope from inside the cart, plan formulating. He dragged it towards the Cyclops, then dodged around the Cyclops' feet as he looped the rope around the giant beast's ankles. It toppled down, tripping and stumbling right off the cliff of Thebes. Hercules gasped for air, pulling himself up to watch the Cyclops fall into the caverns below.

"Hercules, look out-!"

That was all he heard before Menel was colliding with him, forcefully shoving him out of the way and into the rocks. Hercules looked back, confused, and every drop of blood in his body turned to ice.

A column had collapsed, falling right where he would have been, right where Menel was now crushed.

"Menel? _**NOOOOOOOOOO!**_ "

He was at the column before he could blink, his hands shaking as he strained to lift the column. Someone was screaming, something about no, Menel, no, you have to be okay, Menel, gods, move, please and maybe that was him, because his throat was constricted and the blood was rushing to his head and all he could think was Menel has to be okay.

No matter how angry Hercules was at Menel, he never wished him any harm. All his bitterness against him disappeared. And he hated himself for not thinking about Menel's safety first, for not getting him out of here the second he showed up. For staying angry without letting Menel explain himself. For pulling his hand away.

Gods, he hated himself.

Suddenly there was a rush, a tingling under his skin, and the column began to budge. Encouraged and determined, Hercules gave it all he had, the tingling becoming a full on explosion of electricity and strength as he lifted and threw the column to the side. Though surprised that he lifted the pillar with ease, he rushed to Menel's side, kneeling next to him and one hand cradling Menel's head, the other grasping his hand.

"How..." Hercules wondered, "How did I...?"

"Hades' deal is broken," Menel coughed, his skin horribly, impossibly pale, "He promised I wouldn't get hurt."

Menel was grateful that not only his action saved Hercules, but returned his strength.

"But this, this wasn't worth that, would never be worth that." Hercules replied miserably, fingers tangling in Menel's hair, "I would live a thousand lives without my strength to change this-"

"I know," Menel chuckled, a terribly quiet sound, "You're Wonderboy, remember?"

"Menel, why," Hercules's heart ached, and it was physical pain in his chest, "Why would you... ? You didn't have to-"

"Oh, people always do crazy things..." Menel gave a small, wistful smile as he looked into Hercules' eyes. He no longer looked at him with anger and dispair. His eyes now showed the same love he held for her before discovering his betrayal. "...when they're in love."

"Oh, Menel," Hercules choked, his chest seizing up. He wanted to thank him, to say sorry, to tell him he loved him too. But no words come out. "Menel, I, I-"

"Are you..." Menel winced briefly, a flash of pain crossing his face as he gripped his midsection, then the pain faded into a soft smile, "Always this articulate?"

Hercules gave a ghost of a smile, leaning forward to kiss Menel, who shook his head.

"You...you're running out of time. But you can still stop Hades..." Menel murmured, eyes fluttering closed, looking so weak now. "I know you can."

"He's right, you haven't got much time. Go, I'll watch over him," Phil nodded to Hercules, bending down next to Menel. Hercules was thankful to Phil for showing Menel kindness for the first time.

"You're going to be alright, Menel," Hercules whispered fiercely, pressing a soft kiss to Menel's forehead, "I promise."

Hercules gave Menel's prone form one last, worried look, before mounting Pegasus and taking off for Mt. Olympus, intending to get this over with as quickly as possible.

"Let's go, Pegasus!"

Phil remains at Menel's side while Hercules flew to Olympus to stop Hades and his Titans from taking over and saving the Gods. Things were quiet between them. Phil didn't know what to say. It's not like he and Menel had been the best of friends. But despite the enmity they've had, Phil prays that Menel will be okay. He knows how much he means to Hercules.

"That was a very brave thing you did, kid." Phil finally spoke.

"I had to." Menel whispered. "I love him."

"He's very lucky to have someone who loves him so much." He said as he held Menel's hand to reassure him that whatever happened next, he wasn't alone.

Menel suddenly coughs. He no longer had the strength to speak.

"Hang it there, Menel. You gotta for Hercules." Phil said with concern. Menel tried to hold on. Not because he thought he'd make it, he was smarter than that. He wanted to see Hercules one last time.

"I... I don't know how much longer I can hold." Menel said. How he wanted to tell Hercules how he feels about him. "Phil, I want you to tell Hercules if I don't make it..."

"Don't say that, Menel. Just save your strength."

"No, please I gotta say this, Phil. Tell Hercules... I..." Menel sighed his last breath, as his hand suddenly limped in Phil's. The Fates have cut his thread of life.

"Menel? Menel!" Phil futilely shook Menel's shoulder. He laid his arm across his chest. After hearing the sound of wings flapping and hoofs landing on the dirt and sandaled feet stumbling behind him, Phil turns to a distraught Hercules. He shakes his head. He moved aside to let Hercules go to him.

Hercules kneels at Menel's side. His heart sank seeing the pallor of his skin, the limp hand at his side, the finality in his closed eyes.

"Menel, no..." Hercules choked out, lifting Menel's cold-far too cold, he was always so warm-body into his arms. He pressed a hand to Menel's cheek, his neck, his chest, searching for a heartbeat, a pulse, even just a drop of warmth.

There was nothing.

Tears pricked at Hercules's eyes, and he pulled Menel closer to him as he quietly wept. After a moment Phil approached him, one hand resting tentatively on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry, kid," Phil's voice, usually so brash and unapologetic, was gentle, "There's some things you just can't change."

Hercules felt something tighten in his chest, and he laid Menel down before he let his fists clench. A determined courage filled him as he stood, turning to Phil, unashamed of the tears still fresh in his eyes.

"Yes, I can."

* * *

Poor Hercules. :( Now Hades is gonna get it good!


	9. Chapter 9

Finally the last chapter! I hope you guys enjoyed my fanfic so far. ^^

* * *

In the Underworld, Hades was throwing a temper tantrum over losing the battle over Mount Olympus.

" _ **We were so close!**_ " Hades raged, sending an explosive fireball across his map of the cosmos. Pain and Panic ducked out of the way as another went flying past their heads, "So close! And we tripped on the finish line! Why, oh why did we trip? Because that obnoxious little _Mel_ had to go all noble!"

The room was in tatters now, all ash and burning flame, products of Hades's tantrum. There was a rumbling just then, and Hades froze. Zeus wouldn't come stomping down here for a rematch, would he?

"Where's Menel?" Hercules demanded, bursting through the cave wall atop Cerberus' largest head.

Hades gave a brief eyebrow raise at his pet; get a Cerebus, they said. It'll keep everyone out, they said.

"They forgot to mention pissed off demi-gods with a crush," Hades grumbled to himself, "Oh, look who's here. Wonderboy, you are just too much."

"Don't you call me that!" Hercules snarled viciously, jumping from Cerebus to grasp Hades tight by the front of his shirt, his voice low and demanding, "Let. Him. Go."

"Get a grip," Hades waved an unconcerned hand, "Come, let me show you something."

Hades led Hercules into a room to the side, showing him a vast, shining green river, filled with hundreds of thousands of drowning souls.

"It's a small underworld after all, eh?" Hades chuckled.

They walked right up to the shores of it, souls passing by as Hercules watched. Then Hercules caught sight of Menel, his faded, ethereal soul slipping by.

"Menel!" Hercules dove forward, reaching into the river to pull him back.

The river hissed and his skin tingled; surprised, he pulled back to find that his skin had withered away, shrunk and shriveled into that of an old man's. He'd only touched the water briefly, so his skin restored itself, but Hades chuckled all the same.

"Ah ah ah, musn't touch. You see, Menel's running with a new crowd these days, and not a very lively one."

"You like making deals," Hercules turned to Hades, steel in his eyes, "Take me in his place."

"Huh," Hades paused, a slight frown, clearly not having expected that.

"You heard me, my life for Menel's! That's what you really want, right?"

"Hmm, you gotta point there." Hades contemplating this. "Let's see, the son of my hated rival trapped forever in a river of death..."

"Going once."

"Is there a downside to this?" Hades thought aloud curiously, tapping a finger against his chin.

"Going twice!"

"Hey, hey, slow it down there, hot shot. It's a deal; you get him out, he goes, you stay."

Hercules nodded, satisfied. He examined the river briefly, and, upon catching sight of Menel once again, dove in without hesitation.

"Oh, you know what slipped my mind?" Hades mused with a grin, "You'll be dead before you ever reach him. That's not a problem, is it?!"

Hercules swam on, not hearing or caring about Hades's words. As he swam he aged, his bones turning frail and skin growing gaunt. His broad strokes forward became struggles as he inched his way closer and closer, hand outstretched.

Elsewhere in the underworld, Clotho laid out Hercules' thread of life. Atropos reached forward and, just before Hercules could grasp Menel's hand, snipped her scissors.

Instead of slicing clean, however, the scissors bounced and bent, the thread glowing strong.

"Oh?" uttered a confused Atropos.

"What's the matter with these scissors?" Lachesis still tries to cut the now-gold thread.

"The thread...it won't cut." Clotho exclaimed.

As Hades watched in horror, a young, golden hand reached out from the depths. Hercules stepped forward, young and healthy and alive as ever, Menel's spirit in his arms. Hades spluttered, completely flabbergasted.

"This is...impossible! You, you can't be alive, you'd have to be a..."

"A god?" Pain and Panic murmured in wonder together.

Hercules's skin glowed bright, with strength and invulnerability. He walked past Hades without a word or a glance.

"Hey, whoa, Hercules, stop!" Hades scrambled after him, "You can't do this to me, you can't just-"

Hercules turned, and with one mighty fist, punched Hades in the face. There was a loud crack as nose snapped and his cheekbones broke, and the fire above Hades's head briefly went out. After a few seconds his face popped back to it's normal configuration, and Hades smoothed his hair back again. He chased after Hercules, still talking.

"Fine, okay, listen, I deserved that. Herc, Herc, buddy, can we talk? Your brother, he's a fun guy, right? So maybe you could put in a word or two with him, and he might blow this whole thing off, you know?"

Hades kept talking and chasing after Hercules, trying to wheedle his way out of the whole takeover mess.

Then, Hades made a very big mistake.

"Menel, Mel, talk to him, schmooze the guy a little-"

Hades made to put a hand on Menel's arm, and Hercules whirled back, blindsiding Hades with a swift, furious punch that sent Hades flying back into the river of souls. They grabbed him, pleading and begging and moaning at him, trying to pull him back under the water with them.

"Whoa! Get away from me! Don't touch me you mortals, get your slimy souls off me!"

While Hades drowned and Hercules walked away without looking back, Pain and Panic watched Hades drown.

"He's not going to be happy when he gets out of there," Panic sighed, a worried frown on his face.

"You mean, if he gets out of there," Pain corrected with a grin.

"If," Panic nodded back, "If is good."

* * *

Back in Thebes, Hercules approached Phil and Pegasus. They parted to watch in awe as he knelt down, placed Menel's soul within his body. He didn't dare so much as breathe, but only a brief second passed before Menel's pale skin flushed, tan and a bit pink, his dark brown eyes flickering open.

The first thing Menel saw was Hercules's face, smiling widely and brighter than ever-no, seriously, was he glowing?

"Wonderboy," Menel smiled back, a bit breathless, "So, the...the glowing thing is new. How did you...?"

"Well," Hercules took Menel's hand, helping him stand up, "You know what they say. People always do crazy things, when they're in love."

Menel blinked back surprise, and it was clear on his face that he hadn't expected Hercules to return the sentiment. Which was silly, Hercules thought, because how could he not? Hercules put a hand carefully on Menel's waist, pulling him in for a kiss, when a thunderbolt struck at his feet.

Menel stumbled a bit as clouds swirled around their feet, but Hercules caught him, earning himself Menel's arms around his neck. Hercules wrapped both hands around Menel's waist protectively, holding him protectively close as they flew up to Olympus. Phil hopped on Pegasus, following quickly after them.

They flew up through the clouds and into Olympus, where the golden gates shone brightly and a crowd of gods awaited. Hercules extended a hand to help Menel off the cloud when they landed, and Menel took it with a smile.

"Three cheers for the mighty Hercules!" Apollo called out.

"Oh yeah, let's hear it!" Hermes wolf-whistled, throwing flowers everywhere, "Three cheers for muscles, and flowers for everybody!"

Hercules caught sight of Zeus at the peak of the stairs, who gestured for him to come forward. He looked back at Menel, who only smiled and gave him a light shove in the right direction. Hercules smiled back, squeezed Menel's hand before letting it go to join his family.

"Oh, Hercules," Hera, his mother, murmured softly. She was the first to greet him, and there were tears in her eyes as she embraced him, "We're so proud of you."

"Mother," Hercules hugged her back, the word alone giving him a warm, happy feeling of belonging.

"Hah! Fine work, my boy!" Zeus praised him, giving Hercules a friendly punch in the chest that left him winded, "You've done it! You're a true hero."

"You were willing to give your life to rescue this young man," Hera inclined her head to Menel, who carefully studied his feet.

"For a true hero isn't measured by the size of his strength... but by the strength of his heart. Now, at last, my son," Zeus looked to him proudly, "You can come home."

He waved a hand, and the gates to Mt. Olympus swung open. The gods rushed him, hugging and cheering and patting him on the back. It was a blur of colors and gods and cheering. A particular goddess - pink-skinned, blonde-haired, wearing a rosy pink headdress and in a white chiton - gave Hercules a sisterly hug.

Menel watched from the bottom of the stairs, a wistful smile on his face.

"Congratulations, Wonderboy," Menel murmured, giving Hercules's back one last, longing look before walking back to the cloud that had brought them here, "You'll make one hell of a god."

Hercules turned then, looking for Menel in the crowd, and catching sight of him leaving.

"Father," Hercules spoke up, and everyone went silent, "This is the moment I've always dreamed of. But…"

He was down the stairs in a moment, catching Menel's hand and pulling him back. Menel looked at him with such wonder and surprise, so shocked that Hercules would go back for him, it made Hercules's heart hurt. He would always go back for Menel.

"A life without Menel, even an immortal life, would be empty," he was still speaking to his father, but his eyes never left Menel's as he brushed a hand across Menel's cheek, taking him in his arms, "I wish to stay on Earth, with him. I finally know where I belong."

Perplexed at first, Zeus and Hera nod serenely with a smile, as if they'd known all along.

Hercules leaned in, pressing his lips softly to Menel's. His godly glow faded as he did, but he couldn't bring himself to mind. There was a brief pause where he was worried he'd broken Menel, who wasn't responding, but then Menel's arms were around his neck and yanking him forward fiercely, tongues battling and Menel wraps his legs around Herc's waist to give it all he had. The gods and goddesses cheered and congratulated the both of them.

"There ya go, get some!" Aphrodite, the Goddess of Love, whistled.

Hercules, Menel, Phil and Pegasus returned to Earth then, all of Thebes cheering at their arrival. Hercules's adoptive parents rushed forth from the crowd to greet him, and he introduced his lover Menel to them. And then, Menel noticed something in the sky and squeezed Hercules's hand.

"Look," he pointed to the stars.

Somewhere up above Zeus was waving his hands, and the stars aligned in a new way, rearranging themselves in Hercules's image.

"That's Phil's boy!" someone pointed out.

Phil watched the stars with wide eyes, choking back what he would forever deny were tears, after seeing his dream finally come true. Hercules just grabbed him, tugging him, Menel and Pegasus into a grateful hug.

And so, Hercules resume his mortal life with his lover Menel while he continues being a true hero.

* * *

Just so you know, the goddess who gave Hercules a sisterly hug is Persephone, who's Hercules' half-sister in Greek myth.


End file.
